I Can Do Better.

I'm feeling a little upset today, quite honestly. Today was the silent processional/prayer vigil for the illegal immigrants affected by the Postville Raid. I was asked to be a part of it and I procrastinated so much in the response that I ended up not answering at all.

Why had such a lowly freshman (not really) like me been asked to be a part of it?

I had been a campaign manager for Paideia for Postville, which was just a small fundraiser that was held in December when the churches were in need of help for all the immigrants they were hosting. We managed to raise a little more than 1,000 dollars (most likely much more, but I'm not completely sure) and sent it all to help with food and clothes, I believe. It was a really good effort put forth in the last few weeks of first semester. We did fairly well and there was a class representative and everything who harrassed everyone into donating.

And I was responsible for forwarding emails and all that jazz. I didn't do my job very well because I wasn't completely sure about what I was doing, but I was not alone in my endeavors. There was another girl working with me about it.

So for the vigil, we were asked to participate and share some words of prayer... Let me tell you, I am not that religious at all. In fact, defining myself as any religion is kind of frightening to me. Little to say, I'm not that big (or good) at praying. I can write a thesis better than I can pray and the thought of trying to do all that in front of people who want some deep, heartfelt words about the whole experience terrified me to the umpteenth level.

So I didn't go. And I regret that. I wanted to be a part of it badly. Sure, I didn't do much, but I have deep sympathy for the immigrants since I am one myself, although legal, and have friends that are illegal aliens. To me, it was definitely something to fight for, but I couldn't muster the courage to share some words.

Epic fail?

I think so.